The Self-Treatment Guide

Someone sent me this the other day… I thought it was pretty funny:

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

3. Hey, aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

4. Wow, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer… that’s terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around… That’s how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says “Gee, your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee, Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

Came across this rather humorous posting on The Skeptics Society Forum the other day and thought I would share it with you.

Spoony writes:

Believers don’t know it’s not homeopathic!

` Yet another experiment more or less proves homeopathy is a placebo.

` In front of a video camera, I poured out my boyfriend’s vodka-suspended remedy (for muscle problems), rinsed it with water and coffee (because of the caffeine) and then poured in plain vodka.

` He has taken this vodka since, not realizing that I’ve switched it, saying; ‘See? I wasn’t able to do this yesterday! But look how I can move! It barely hurts! It’s so great! See? homeopathy can cure anything! You should try it!’

` He’s reacting to the plain vodka exactly like how he reacts to his remedy!!

This is good because he’s not suffering, he’s not waking up in the middle of the night from the pain, and he’s better able to move while he’s teaching me karate.

` I was laughing at first, but now I realize that I’ve gotten myself into a serious responsibility, and this is going to be bad for him. I have got to show him the video and explain to him about homeopathy, but I don’t know how to.

You can follow the rest of this thread for yourself to see how it turned out. I’m tempted to give you a hint, but that would just spoil the fun.

Later,
Dean